I See Your Blackcurrant And Raise You A Bay Tree
What the bay tree will look like, if it survives to maturity |
Incidentally, I know what a pitchfork looks like. I can correctly ID a garden fork. What I
don’t know is how I traversed to the shop intending to purchase a new garden
fork, but returned with a pitchfork.
Oh. Um. I linger over the mistake.
Ultimately, we don’t need a new pitchfork. This embarrassment must be tackled. Nip
back to the farm supplies shop. ‘I’m having one of those days.’ I speak,
blithely, as though this muddle is phenomenally common. Everyone in earshot
enjoys the story. (Maybe this is my till-side debut?)
We
need a new garden fork because the previous occupant of that position is
snapped in two, whilst uprooting blackcurrant bushes from the old fruit garden.
It’s not an opportune moment to move currant bushes, according to the Fruit
Expert calendar. It’s a moving house dig it up or lose it moment. It’s a fruit
gamble.
We
also pack into the car the red and white currant bushes, the raspberries, the
blueberry, the loganberries, a bay tree and an azalea. And two grown ups, the
new garden fork, one spade, two snips, one billhook and a spaniel.
Roots
wrapped in rubble sacks, the bushes are laid close to the hedge, lest they be
stolen by the insurgent wind.
‘This
will be your new home,’ I explain, ‘hold your nerve, if you want to see better
weather.’
That
was yesterday’s toil.
A classic 3x2 blackcurrant formation |
Today
we dig holes in the clagged earth, under heaving slants of rain that hit
precisely the angle required to run a system of rivulets inside collars and
sleeves. Mud platforms my boot soles, unevenly. My right side is two inches
taller, until I kick clumps all down the drive and a little bit on Dog. After
lunch, a hillock of sludgy clothes builds in front of the washing machine. The
sink looks like I’ve dumped coffee grounds in it. After we wash our hands, the
soap needs washing. Re-clothed, the desire to be under the rain again is
difficult to find. Only in deference to yesterday’s efforts do we re-tie our
boots. This is the only way the fruit gamble can pay off.
Comments
I'm afraid I have no idea of the difference in the forks. I know what a pitch for is but I'd have to guess at the other. No doubt I'd have brought home the wrong one!
A short supply of blackcurrants is definitely to be sighed over! Commiserations to The Great Scot :-(