The Happy Cartographer, January 1994





Been a while since I checked the old diaries. There are lots of entries for 1994, despite how busy I was, I wrote everywhere, I was so excited by my discoveries. Although I do start with a bit of bitching… maybe if you could have heard the nonsense those poor desperate to impress boys were spouting, you would have thought ‘tongue scissors’ too. If I could revisit this scene I think I would just laugh, being older and generally more tolerant. The crap I refer to is their banter, not daughter’s charming dinosaur centric babble.










‘On the train.
Oh dear. How many stories can you begin with ‘me and my mates, right’…. I’m sure they’re very nice, individually, but I wish I’d brought my tongue scissors.
Daughter not stopped talking either but at least she’s not freezing my imagination with tales of how she fished for Yorkshire.
To distract me from this crap I’ll think about yesterday’s walk on the beach. I went to talk to the sea about losing the train tickets (had to buy another set…)
What I seemed to hear was- stop thinking you’ll always be moving, you might need to settle down, to learn that stillness doesn’t mean the same as stopped. Losing the tickets was a stupid accident.
Other things I have in mind for 1994:
I want to be beautiful. This means practical steps like being bothered to iron a dress but also reading beautiful words, keeping my positivity. I want to follow on my work on past history forming present consciousness and how this can be transcended, using myths, symbols and psychology, to form a philosophy of progression. Philosophy is important. It’s a discipline that engenders freedom. People are confused by what they want, like should they be faithfully married or sleep with everyone they fancy. A philosophy should give you rules that are actually integral, that would give the answer that’s true for you, thus you live the life you ought to be living.

Yorkshire.
Positive philosophy: have decided what sort of life is necessary (a happy one) and followed the path accordingly. I want to consider how I should think, act and live according to what is true, good and beautiful and not just think about it but also apply the theory. Mustn’t let theory outstrip practice. Seems to be working. College work ties in with all this, feels more relevant to me, so life is unified. In harmony with myself.’


I don’t think these entries need much further explanation, I just wish I had kept this enthusiastic knowledge in mind more clearly in later, more complicated years. Losing the train tickets was difficult, because we had so little money, but my habit of talking to the sea (really just a way of listening to what you need to tell yourself) helps keep perspective.  I deliberately chose to cultivate happiness - but never really got into ironing, reading was far more useful. 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Contact Pants Conundrum

Image
There is weather today, I do note it: take a few moments to reckon the size of a cloud (big) and the frequency of rain (sporadic.) Centre of my interest though is a stack of magazines. Not the fashion kind. This is martial arts research. I'm not even sure what it is I'm looking for, but intuition calls loud. A range of old adverts skew some amusement. Contact pants, for example. Pants are not trousers where I come from. They are underwear. Professional contact pants: improved smirk value. But why would a person be likely to purchase a grappling hook and a lock pick set? For specialists and hobbyists only, the blurb assures. Guidance on the pheromone spray that attracts women against their better judgement? I doubt it works any more proficiently than the mysterious potion that defines your muscles while you sleep. But, then: I wonder is some sprayed on this paper? What was my intuition thinking, making this ghastly shout… Tea break time. There's a lot of words...
Read more

Spring Is Ticking

Image
It has been a while since I wrote a blog post - I have been writing books, and keeping a diary, the days and the work aren’t lost, just ticking quietly in a corner. [There’s a little dust in that corner but the shelf is made of strong oak planks, and the light is enchanting. A plant grows in a pot, it spouts leaves. A half candle stands in a china holder.] At Paddock Garden (properly titled Paddock Garden Orchards, I am a lazy typer) a tree corral has been constructed. It contains persimmons which may not have survived the recent cold blasts and heavy rain, along with some happy pepper trees, bladdernuts, and plum yews. We plan to underplant and interplant extensively in this concentrated area. Around the grounds also we have begun some windbreak hedges, mostly of elaeagnus and hazel. We have a line of sapling native oaks edging the spinney. The first of our camping bay areas is growing emerald grass that was seeded last autumn; the second has recently been seeded; the last three need ...
Read more

September's End

Image
September is all but done. Our fingers are purple from plucking berries, scored by thorns, sore and satisfied. How lucky we are, and how grateful! Through the cold spring, and the soggy summer, we have worked to make this place more and more beautiful. We are charming sustenance from the soil with our toiling; using the present to craft a kinder path- a tree-lined, fruit-bearing way.  And so here we are, in autumn, a time of harvest, glut, and storage. A time to plant trees, a time of festival. Our lives are seasonal, tidal, temperate, held in repetitions that are never the same; variations of repeating patterns, a common uniqueness. How lucky we are, and how grateful! Pollinator friendly saplings added to  the firepit hedge, lower field.
Read more